My friend, Mrs. Fuzz over at http://apolicewife.blogspot.com/,
is starting therapy with her husband, a police officer, and asked people’s input
and insight into law enforcement and therapy or personal ways of coping. My
response is below, but you tell me…am I wrong? Am I spot on? Or am I just crazy
like the rest of you?
There is an “experimental” program in some areas of the NYPD
that is taking an hour after every shift and locking the shift in the basement.
They are required to go down there, talk about their shift, things that happen
through the day, and get everything out in the open. In the few short months
that they have been doing this, use of force reports have gone down, sick time
has been reduced, and the officers report being happier.
I believe that the old mentality of “asking for help is weak”
is on its way out the door, and quickly. I think that we officers have come to realize
that it’s not normal to see death and destruction every day, it’s not normal to
deal with the worst of the worst day in and day out, it’s not normal to go from
zero to 160 in half a heartbeat, but it is normal to need to talk about that
stuff. There is simply no room for that old school mentality in today’s police
force.
As a general rule, I don’t tell my wife much of anything
that goes on at work. I believe that there are two different people living
inside every law enforcement officer out there, up to and including myself. There
is a part of me that she will never know which has to do what he has to do,
just so that her and the part that she does know, can coexist in this great
world. In order for all of this to happen, she has to let this guy that she doesn’t
know do what he does. I also think that it is hardwired into every LEO to
protect all persons, especially those who we care about. Within that is a need
to protect her from the things I see, the things I experience, and the nightmares
that I have.
How do I cope with stress from work? I go back to work…If I
am able to keep my mind focused and know that day after day, I am able to pick
back up, return to work, and do what the citizens pay me to do, then I have
won. The day that I don’t go back in is the day that I have been beat by the
bad guy. At times, if it has been an especially rough night, the guys and I
will go out for a few drinks. While there we tell funny stories, make fun of
each other, and have a few beers. While this might just simply seem like casual
conversation to most, it also reminds us that there are good things that come
out of this job. The “you should have seen your face,” “Remember that time
when,” and “Remember that call where” stories and laughs shared give us reason
to pick up tomorrow and drive on.
All around, I think we have our own form of therapy without
paying for it. The barbeques, the time together with the shift, the nights
spent mirrored up for an hour just talking about times passed, that is our
therapy. We get the bad out and replace it with stories of good. Not only is
that something that helps today, but something that we can hang on to when we
leave because at times, those stories are all that we have. And when you do
finally leave, be it the department or the job, the best you can hope for is a
couple of guys standing around a grill, drinking a beer or two, and hopefully
your name gets brought up in a good light.
